Tuesday, May 13, 2014

One Year Later

On this day last year, I could have never imagined the amazing life I have now. I had so much hate in my heart. I could not understand why God didn't give my baby arms or legs. I had never seen or even heard of a person being born like that! All I could see was darkness, but we have an AWESOME God that told me there was a light in all the darkness. Little did I know, the day I thought was the worse day of my whole life, was the start of something BEAUTIFUL! It took me a couple of days and a lot of prayer. I was very unsure, but I trusted Him. God was right. There was a light, and his name is Camden. 


Exactly one year later I have a beautiful, happy, giggly, noisy, chubby, silly 7 month old son. I am so thankful God didn't give up on me when I started to give up on him and I am so blessed that God gave me the chance to give Camden a chance! I couldn't imagine my life any different! 

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On April 29th, 2014 I was walking down the halls of the OB/GYN office where I found out Camden didn't have arms or legs. I felt fine-ish. Then I passed the ultrasound room that it all happened in. I realized I was holding my breath. All of the emotions that I felt May 13th, 2013 hit me at once. I stayed in the bathroom for about 5 minutes trying to calm myself, but those emotions weren't going anywhere. I couldn't believe that one room could make me feel like that. I felt silly. I wanted to cry, but I didn't let myself do that. My blood pressure was high of course and I couldn't get my heart to calm down. Once I had my Camden in my arms again everything was okay. All the bad emotions left.

May 6th, 2014 I found myself in the same place. Sitting in the waiting room sweating, heart racing, wanting to run and hide. My name is called and I walk back. I look at my cousin and tell her that I am freaking out. She is freaking out too. I laid on the exam table and Camden starts with his bubble blowing and talking. He knows when to say something to make Mommy feel better.

What was the answer? I wasn't sure how I would feel after I found out. I was so scared. I saw a hand on the screen and I started crying. Camden was sitting there making fart noises with his mouth making me laugh at the same time. Then I saw another hand, two arms, two really long legs, and two little feet crossed at the ankles. I was relieved, but it was weird. I have a baby inside of me that has arms and legs. The ultrasound tech asked if I had any questions or concerns, I didn't, but Camden sure did and he started talking away!

As of that ultrasound the baby's heart looked great (159bpm) and was measuring 12 weeks and 4 days, so I have a healthy baby just like his or her big brother! My next ultrasound is June 20th and I will know more about the baby's health then and we will find out the gender! The gender will be a secret to everyone, even myself, until my gender reveal that night! I am on team PINK! :)

Baby brother/sister is due November 14th, 2014


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Camden had an appointment with his new pediatrician this past Friday. Camden was 12 pounds and 18 inches long and was such a big boy getting his shots!! He only cried for a few seconds.

His pediatrician asked if I was ever told why or what could have happened for Camden not to have arms or legs, and I have never been given any answers besides that it just happened for no reason. I even had an amniocentesis that came back saying that Camden had no chromosomal abnormalities. He does not believe that Camden doesn't have any arms or legs just because it happened that way, especially because his baby sister/brother has the same Father and has all of her/his limbs. So he is going to be running some test on Camden to see if he can find any answers for us. Hopefully we can find an answer for this so other families will have answers as well!

Camden is also getting a referral to Shriners Hospital for Children in Tampa, FL. I'm hoping and praying that there will be an pediatric orthopedist at this hospital that is willing to give Camden the chance he deserves with his prosthetic arms. Camden's pediatrician says Shriners is aggressive with their treatments, so I'm really excited about this!

~

All within this past year God has given me two miracles and Camden will get his best friend from God in November! The future scares me, but I know God knows what he is doing. He hasn't let me down yet and here is the proof...

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. {Matthew 19:26}